At some stage of our lives or the other, most of us reach a point where we observe our surroundings and the people around us. Then we compare ourselves to these ‘other’ people, who might be our friends, family members, neighbors, business associates or even someone who we just met. It is in the basic nature of a human being to utilize his/her mental prowess to analyze the surroundings, observe the past and present and then make theories regarding the future, based on self-identified factors relating to the observations. Therefore, we compare. We judge ourselves, our own efforts, our sincerity, our commitment and most of all our Ability, relative to the same attributes of the people that we interact with. Right here, unknowingly, we devise a scale, a parameter to evaluate our own status against ‘others’. This path of evaluation leads to a set of almost similar generic conclusions. ‘Feeling sorry’ for  the ones that are in a much worse condition than ourselves. Inspiration or  Jealousy from the ones that are high above in the ‘ranking criteria’ that we devised ourselves! Who is ‘better‘? What is the definition of better? Who decides that someone is better or not and on what scale and why? If happiness/satisfaction/success is directly proportional to money, then there shouldn’t be a single  depressed wealthy person on this planet. All billionaires should be happy and all average money-makers should be crying.

As a Student, in a primary school, we observe our classmates. We start to think almost immediately about the toppers or the below average performers in the class, the ‘others’. We evaluate their behaviors according to our own mental ability and draw conclusions. Right here, we create a divide, a space and a status system, that is basically inherited from our education system that again ‘judges’ children of different mental abilities, different set of skills, different backgrounds and different circumstances on the same curriculum and the same scale!

As a Professional, we always keenly observe the market around us, our suppliers, our customers, our colleagues. In this process, when we are interacting with ‘others’, we observe their way of living and immediately ask ourselves ” How much is he worth? How did he become so successful?  Can I do a similar thing and be at the same level too? ”

After these judgments, comparisons and evaluations, we may go into different directions. Some of us may get influenced by our own analysis and strive to become the better ‘other’ and avoid being the worse one. Some others may decide that they are better off in their current position and don’t need to do anything or get ‘impressed’. While a bunch of us may also decide to cease this thought process, telling themselves that they don’t have the ability, resources or circumstances necessary to achieve the level of  ‘others’ that are in a much better condition. What this last group doesn’t realizes is that each person can achieve whatever they want if they put in all their efforts. Nothing is impossible. What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we really are.

Our society has become the classic version of materialism and we have developed a habit of judging others and most disturbingly ourselves, according to several different self-developed criteria. When we meet somebody for the first time, we want to notice immediately that what kind of car, mobile, watch or house this person owns. The humanity, morality, personality and quality of attitude are all considered secondary to these material parameters. We are so deeply caught up in this ‘Judgmental Marathon‘ that we have forgotten to glance at our own reflection in the mirror. We are so busy pointing the finger at others that we have ignored the fact that all this time 4 other fingers are pointing at ourselves. The results of this  phenomenon can be seen in the form of intolerance at different levels in the society. May it be religion, politics, business or even day-to-day matters, we want to prove that we are right, and most importantly, that others are wrong! This need of always ‘being right’ is not benefiting us in any manner. Its about time that we realize the difference between evaluation and judgement, and stop judging each other on personal issues. This is the only way that can lead us onto the road of becoming a truly progressive society. A big change in society is required to set the course right for this sinking ship, a lot of effort is needed by each and everyone of us if we want the odds to change in our favor. Special circumstances need special actions too and in this case, just a nominal effort on individual level by all of us will probably do the trick.

“You are wrong!” “No you are wrong!”